The Secret Loves of Geek Girls


One of my good friends, Roberta , read and told me about a book a while ago. Naturally, when someone tells you that you should do something, you put it off. Which is exactly what I did. Mentally, it was on my ‘to read’ shelf, but I procrastinated on the actual hunting down and reading of this book. I justified it with the “But look at how many books you already have that you haven’t read yet!?” And it worked, until I was wandering around the bookstore with my friend and stumbled across it. (And no, I wasn’t there to buy myself other new books, I was actually getting a couple kids books for my nephew’s birthday.) I picked it up right quick and it was mine!

Once I started reading the Secret Loves of Geek Girls, I couldn’t put it down. It was very well done and I connected with the stories. As a nerd and geek (I do not consider the words interchangeable) woman, it is quite easy to feel alone. There are many people I know that share one or two of the same nerderies with me, but not a large number of them and that’s okay. For example, Roberta and I both love a number of the same comics, tv shows, and movies. However, our taste in books varies widely with just a little overlap when it comes to fantasy. I stay pretty firmly planted in hard science fiction and Roberta  leans more towards the fantasy spectrum. I have yet to meet someone who has read my favorite book (A Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge) without me forcing it upon them. In fact, the same could be said more the majority of my favorites. I have learned that the key is to give it as a gift, and thus they feel obligated to read it! *cue witch cackle*

There are more and more geek women out there, and we are not as alone as we sometimes feel. Secret Loves helped remind me of that. And it’s okay that Roberta and I don’t have the same exact taste in books, we can easily swap our favorites back and forth and share our love of books. I shared my love for the comic Sunstone with her, and I know she’s obsessed with it now as we have spoken of it! (Seriously, check it out, it is hands down the most beautiful comic I have ever read. AND it’s a lesbian BDSM comic that has some of the most realistic and 3D characters ever.)

Reading about someone else’s experience allows me to look at my own life through new eyes and see if any of the lessons the authors learned could be applied to my own life. And yes, I did find some applicable information. I often fall into the hole of thinking that I’m stuck with no one to talk to about such and such a topic. And I do nothing about it. I just whine in my head and sigh and go to work. I didn’t even realize I did it, but now I do. And armed with that knowledge, I can try to fix it. For example, I’m going to try to get tickets to Rose City Comic Con. I’m going to force myself to strike up conversations with strangers who seem interested in the same events and booths that I am. And who knows, maybe I’ll make some new friends.


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